Bye bye baby


The time has come. I have read time and time again that when the time comes where you’re face to face with all of the memories of your last child’s infancy piled up in bins, overflowing from every closet in your home, it will be bittersweet. You will feel nostalgic at the little tiny onesie with old milk stains marking the front. Simply seeing the tiny booties that never went anywhere near their tiny perfect feet will make your uterus sing a swan song. The smell of the baby blankets will make you weep as you sit in the rocker that you used to spend hours in rocking that helpless little bundle fall fast asleep.

You will wonder what happened to all that time and fear how fast time is going to move from here on out. You will struggle with every item, should I keep it, this one is very special, when I see this outfit I think of this and that. It’s all a benchmark for the speedy, flowing, momentum that is your baby’s first and second years. I read that it would happen. It will be bittersweet.

Yah, it’s not….it’s just fucking sweet. IT’S SO SWEET! Halle-fucking-lujah! I don’t feel sadness. I don’t feel anything resembling a desire to go back in time and do it all again. I don’t feel bad about it either. Onesies – peace out bitches. Bottles…fuck you very much. I feel liberated. For a long time I held on to all of it and told myself it was because many of my friends were still having babies but I know now that wasn’t the real reason. It was because I didn’t want to face the fact that I had been told that I should be sad to see it all go and so I waited patiently for that day to come. It never did. Once I admitted to myself that I’m just simply not sad at all that it’s over, I suddenly had this mad desire to get it all out of my house.

Do I sometimes miss the little baby that was my child, sure, for a brief fleeting moment I miss it. Then I play the video of him screaming like an absolute lunatic and I’m brought back to reality. The fact is, there are so many incredible memories ahead of me with my kids that I can’t be crippled thinking about all the ones that have already happened. So – I now have empty closets (yay) and I also have a sweet little balance at Kidz Korner that is slowly growing with every passing week. I don’t feel bad or sad, I feel excited about all of the memories I can make with my children with every passing year.

xo Kristin


If at first you don’t succeed

I have been trying to adequately work through my struggles parenting my 3-year-old for the last two months, analyzing and re-analyzing how I could have handled certain situations better. But the truth is, I am having a really hard time.

Since a month before his third birthday my eldest has tested my very upper limits. And I know exactly what went wrong. When my second son was born I completely fell apart when it came to disciplining my first son. I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to spend the same amount of time with him that I did when it was just him and mommy. Couple that guilt with my exhaustion having a baby and going back to work right after, and I just stopped throwing down the “nos.” So basically, for the last year, I have been trying to have any nice quality time I can with him, and if he throws a tantrum or gives me a hard time, well, I usually just give in.

Therein lies the problem. No wait, therein lies the crisis. The issue is that now, fast forward a year, and he knows he can do whatever he wants. He has learned that mommy is usually too tired to really follow through on her “if you do that again I’ll put you to bed threats”, so, he does it… whatever “it” is…again. And again. And again. Until finally, mommy blows. Son number two is left in his high chair while son number one gets thrown over mommy’s shoulder and into bed (and after a few minutes, he comes out of his bedroom – a door is not going to stop this kid).

There have been countless screaming matches. This kid has a voice. And mommy has lost it so many times counting is silly. On the weekend for instance, he yelled “no!” at his little brother when he was trying to play, and little brother wailed because he just wanted to get close to his buddy. I put older brother in his room. He came out. I threatened everything. I took his toys away. Nada. No listening. He is willful, he is stubborn, and he is relentless (just like his mama, uh oh.) Daddy steps in often. But daddy gets listened to and I think daddy probably wants me to get my shit together (understandably).

Result of all of this: Mommy is so, so done.

So what is a tired momma to do? I’m sad. In a full day together we will have at least three meltdowns and I feel like all of sudden I’m going to have lost years. Does it get better? Do 3 year old boys eventually start to be less tough?

I cried to his dad on Sunday (who has been incredibly supportive, reminding me I’m a good mom all the time) because I just felt so heavy. I know other mommas have gone through the tantrum stage, and I also have gotten some great advice. I know I need to be harder on him and quicker – no more “one more chance kid”, because that’s what’s gotten me to this situation in the first place.

But what else is there to try? I am nervous about the toll it takes on him when I yell at him. I don’t like yelling and I don’t want our house to be a place that he associates with raised voices.

You got tips? Bring ‘em on. Thanks mamas.

Xo Sara

The game is rigged ladies…

‘I’m the worst mother, I have no patience, I’m not crafty, I’m so hot tempered, it’s so frustrating, I yell all the time, she’s so much better at that, she makes it look so easy….’ On and on it goes. I’ve heard, said and thought it all when it comes to discussing motherhood with other moms or when reflecting on my own parenting abilities.

With every negative parenting moment comes a thought about another mom who is probably better than me. I am not proud of the fact that I’ve caught myself comparing myself to other mom’s. How do I stack up in the mother of year race? It’s ridiculous and something I have endeavored to banish from my mind. And not only banish it, but banish the subconscious resentments or jealousy of other moms wins.

Admit it, can anyone out there honestly say that they’ve never felt insecure when hearing about a kick-ass, holy shit – that’s awesome momming moment? Don’t fucking lie to me bitch!! I think it’s universal and I’m trying to wrap my brain around why? Here’s what I can come up with. How could we not? Competition, pride, ego, 1st place, honor roll, straight a’s, scholarships, internships, promotions, all of it. All of it completely indoctrinated into our psyche from the time we’re old enough to form words and over hear our moms talking about how many words we’re up to now! Life as we know it is one big bell curve and where we fall onto it is indicative of what success we are apt to achieve in life. A simple exam in school and the congregation that happened with my friends after was a discussion of who got what grade. How was I doing compared to them? Now granted, that’s not everyone’s goal but I suppose I had awesome nerds for friends and doing well on tests was of some inherent value!

My point is this, how can we just shut that off when it comes to the biggest test we’re going to take – to raise a human being and send them out into the world? And why? Because it makes no fucking sense and is the most illogical, nonsensical, crazy thing you could do to yourself. Why? I’ll propose an analogy. In this case, let’s take 5 high school kids. One is going to take a Math exam, one a Science exam, another Geography, another Music and finally English. Now we’re going to find out who got the highest score. Are you with me?!

How can we possibly be even thinking of how we compare to other moms when they are parenting a completely different child and they are a completely different person than you? Now, my pathetic grade 7 science experiment was along time ago but even then I knew that I had to have some constants in order to know my data wasn’t skewed! This data is about as skewed and uncontrolled as it could ever possibly be!

So don’t fall into it. New moms out there especially, just don’t do it. They aren’t you and that isn’t your kid they’re raising. There are literally no constants in that scenario to provide the basis for any valid determination. The game is rigged. Secondly – if you see or hear a fellow mom kicking some serious ass – don’t feel insecure – feel love, support and pride for them! Beam! Tell them how great it is. It has absolutely nothing to do with you at all and it just might inspire you to bring a bit of that sunshine into your next trying mom moment – which in my house is about every 18 minutes. On average.

xo Kristin

Growing Up

It’s happening.  Or maybe it’s already happened, and I’m just abruptly noticing.  My baby girl is turning 3 soon.  Three!!!  How did that even happen?  I get emotional just thinking about it.  It seems like only yesterday she was a helpless little blob, needing momma for nearly everything.  And now, well, she likes to do mostly everything by herself.

Everyone tells you that “time will fly”, which is partly true…other times, it will dragggggg on and you will have days where you’re just waiting for bedtime so you can get into a nice big glass of wine.  Lately, I’ve been having sentimental days, where I’m reflecting on how much my baby has changed.  Even recently it seems like she’s changed so much.

The other day, she was sitting quietly in her room reading books, and she started reciting one of her books by memory (seriously, this kid’s memory is insane!)  I just stood there and watched her for a while, in awe of how much she’s learned since even a few weeks ago.  Potty training is nearly complete (yay!)  She likes to put on her own coat and boots.  She loves helping momma in the kitchen – she’ll pull up a chair to the counter and help often.  Feeding the dog is officially her job now.  She loves knowing what we have planned for the day.  Going outside is one of her favourite things.  Her hair is longer than mine now.  She picks out her pyjamas every night.  This past weekend, I purchased bedding for her “big girl bedroom”.  We’ll be enrolling in kindergarten this time next year.  What?!  It’s surreal sometimes.

I’ve been spending a lot more time with C lately, just soaking up all the little and big moments.  I know this is all part of parenting – kids grow up and become their own little people.  Still, when it’s your first kid and it’s all happening for the first time, it just feels so different than what anyone tells you.  It’s better than I could have imagined.  It’s one of those things you just have to experience for yourself to truly understand.

Watching your child grow and change is one of the coolest and sweetest (and emotional!) parts of parenting.

xo Leigh

The little things

I have been feeling a little bummed the last couple of weeks. This happens sometimes with life. Both my kids were sick and so were us parents over the holidays on separate occasions, and the Christmas holidays is the week of the year that I really have “off”, so spending it just trying to get everyone healthy again was a bit of a bummer. One of my boys is going through the “no” stage with me, and it’s lonely over here with the mom guilt: guilt about yelling, guilt about bedtime well before its bedtime, and guilt about really anything—I just feel guilty. It’s not an easy job, momming, but one I love. So when there are challenging periods I can’t wait for them to subside. Then it’s been back to work and work hasn’t been the most fulfilling in January so far.

So that’s why I try to concentrate on the little things–focusing on those magical little moments that make you smile. Here is a list of those things from this week, because truly, that’s what it’s all about right?

  1. Glancing at my 3-year old through the rear-view mirror as we drive, seeing how enthralled he is with everything, and answering all his questions about trucks, cars, and being amazed at how much he knows. Following his instructions when he says “stop mommy, red light means stop.”
  2. Creeping up on him at Montessori, and seeing the look on his face (he actually does a little dance sometimes) when he realizes it’s me and it’s time to go home.
  3. Getting him dressed in the morning. But because his jammy shirt is warm and he really, really doesn’t want to take it off, we put on a really adorable sweater that hides the shirt because, come on, no one will notice and I just can’t stand to make him cold in the morning.
  4. Having no problem obliging his request of a “treat” because he just ate like a horse at dinner.
  5. Holding his little hand because the stairs really are too steep for him still (sometimes, not all the time, but he did fall once and that was terrifying).
  6. When he takes his snowsuit off all by himself. And this morning, when he put his shoes on all by himself.
  7. Listening to him sing a song.
  8. Letting him have his favourite meal, pasta, because it’s his favourite and I know everything that went into it because I made his sauce.
  9. Seeing him cuddle up with his dad on the couch when it’s almost time for bed, and ask daddy a million questions and daddy answers every one, and holds his little hand as they sit together.
  10. When daddy comes downstairs and says “he wants mommy to come lay with him while he falls asleep” and I do. And I watch as his breathing gets slower and more regulated and I just keep still until he does in fact fall asleep, like he’s in the most happy place in the world.


And this all in one day. How can you not love your little creatures?

Xo Sara

It’s Sergeant Mommy to you, bud

“I see pride, I see power, I see a bad ass mother who don’t take no crap off of no one” – Cool Runnings, aka one of the best 90’s movies (about an Olympic Bobsled team) of all time.

I’ve often remarked, as has every person who’s spent any amount of time with both of my children, how completely opposite they are. They look alike, yes, but in terms of personality and disposition – it couldn’t be more opposite. Daughter is mellow, easy going and gentle, son No.2 is a fucking jackass. That being said I always thought that regardless of how my kids personalities differed my parenting style will be fairly similar. I didn’t want to be inconsistent as a parent and I feared it would leave my kids feeling resentful of one another or confused about what fallout there may be.

This being my theory before I had two children who had a mild ability to communicate their needs (most of the time). That’s when I learned that theories are simply that…a nice idea used to justify a course of action. The reality of parenting two completely different human beings shot my theory right in the face. We tried, we really tried to be the same, we tried to but it’s impossible. What works well with one child has absolutely no affect whatsoever on the other…I’ll leave it to you to figure out which is which. It’s such a ridiculous theory now that I feel silly having even thought it would be possible.

Kid No.2 is the biggest challenge of my entire life and we have had to become completely different parents to him than we are to my daughter, resentments be damned. His personality is so wily, demanding, hot tempered and greedy that in trying to parent him in a similar fashion we realized he was completely running the household and running us ragged in the process. Hubs and I had a “come to Jesus” moment while on holidays, and decided how we were going to take control over this little pile of nutsack. We were no longer his parents, we were his drill sergeants!

We would give this guy no slack; it was basic training time and he was getting whipped into shape. I never thought I would be so tough and rigid with my child, and I was afraid that it would leave him feeling sad and alienated. We were so pleasantly surprised that it’s been the opposite. The change in him is so extreme and drastic for the better that we have been hi-fiving ever since. Clearly his temperament is thriving from way more structure, consistent consequences and zero tolerance for not listening.

I’ve been able to find a happy medium because the loads of affection I pile on him hasn’t changed but it’s balanced off with a bad ass mother who don’t take no crap off of no one (yes I quote Cool Runnings in my head as often as required).

xo Kristin

Little Mermaid

Parenting is full of surprises.  I feel like I’m always learning something new.  Like the other day, I learned a hot tip for potty training: line the bottom of those little potties with toilet paper and water for the inevitable number 2 that will land in there and not want to wash away easily, despite the jet engine force of the water that you will spray into it.  If only I had known this prior to my futile attempt…

Let’s rewind a little here.  My daughter C has recently discovered that tooting is absolutely hilarious.  She notifies me of each and every toot, and tells me in explicit detail whether it was a big toot, or a little toot, or a stinky toot.  Same goes for burps, sneezes, coughs and seemingly any other noise that comes from her body.  Combine this with potty training, and well, we’ve had a lot of laughs in our house lately!

Bath time is usually another time full of laughs over here.  Except if we’re washing C’s hair – then it’s full of scream cries.  I digress.  C loves her baths, and pretending she’s a mermaid.  She lays on her tummy, kicks here feet, and says “Look Mommy, I’m a mermaid!”  It’s the cutest.  The other night, while showing me her mermaid moves, she lets out a series of toots, of course. Then she quickly sits up, and continues tooting away.  All of a sudden, the smile on her face changes to one of horror and fright, and she keeps looking down.  I ask her if she needs to use the potty, but it’s too late.  Cue the Caddyshack pool doodie moment (click here for a fun visual!)  C is just horrified that she’s just shit in the tub, and she immediately asks me if I can take it out.  I’m laughing hysterically, as it’s the first time this has happened (surprising, after nearly 3 years of baths!)  So, I scoop C out and put her on the little potty, thinking she’s all done.  Then, I scoop out and flush the floater, and she gets the same look on her face again.  I should also mention that earlier in the day, she had her first number 2 on the potty at daycare (yay!) Anyways, she continues her business on the little potty, and I’m still laughing, and wondering how on earth I’m going to clean that ridiculous little shitter out.  I’m not gonna lie – cleaning up a diaper shit is far more appealing than what I was dealing with on this particular evening.  If only I’d known the hot tip before…

To summarize, what I’ve learned is that it’s time to get rid of that little potty, and C can start using the actual toilet.  And I’m going to kinda, sorta miss those diapers 😉

xo Leigh