What it’s like running into a childless friend these days…

sleep

Oh hey, skinny friend with rock hard abs! Have I lost weight? Bahahaha, that’s so kind of you… But absolutely not, no. What am I doing this weekend? The usual, eight thousand kid-themed activities. A birthday party, a few play dates, one of the fun characters from Treehouse is at the mall so probably hit that up. No, not the thing you actually put in a tree…. Treehouse is a tv channel that plays the same dozen or so kids shows all day long. It is as shitty as it sounds, yes.

Oh wow, a four day outdoor festival  in a totally cool city sounds awesome. Who’s there? No way, every single major relevant artist is going to be there. I’m crying inside with jealousy… the only major relevant artist I’m seeing wears a mouse costume and speaks in squeaks and half sentences. Yah, well he’s Toopy. No wait, maybe that’s Binoo. You know what, it doesn’t matter, your weekend already won the coolness factor before you opened your mouth.

What are you up to the rest of the day? Spa, yoga? That’s great that you have so much time to look after yourself.

Have I tried yoga? Yes, but my stomach looks like a puffy bum when I do any sort of plank type position because you know, it’s been stretched out to the moon and back with pregnancy. But I’m sure it’s totally relaxing to bend over and try not to fart for an hour. Sounds amazing.

Sure, I’d love to get together for drinks! Yah… You see, 10pm is actually two hours past my bedtime and often the first of four times I’m up with one of the kids. I’m more of a meet at 5pm for drinks kind of gal.

You’re going where this winter? A super hot exotic location? That’s amazing! I can’t afford to go anywhere because I spend tens of thousands of dollars in daycare, but if I didn’t have kids I’d actually be able to tour a new country for a month each year with all the money I’d have. Yah, kids are really expensive. “Staycations” are a thing now, so we do a lot of those. Um, it’s where you stay home. Yah, I guess you could call it “staying at home.”

Well we should totally meet up for a walk or for a coffee sometime! I try to get out a couple of days a week. Yah, I work full time, have the kids in a couple of activities after school, get breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks ready each day for four people, bathe the kids, do laundry, clean the house, go to the gym, cut the grass, catch up with friends and family via text or phone, read the news, and I still manage to find the time. Yep, just really good at time management I guess.

Well, when you do find the time let me know and we’ll hook up.

Nice chatting with you!

xo Guest Blogger Sarah

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