As the days draw closer until baby #2 arrives, fear is starting to creep in. Of course I’m excited to meet the new little squish! I can’t wait for the gender surprise on the big day, to see what he or she looks like, to watch how big sister C will react when she meets baby for the first time, and all the other good things that go along with growing your family. And if I’m being honest, the last couple of weeks have been very emotional and difficult for me every time I think about the birth-day; there’s just nothing comforting about a baby exiting your body, no matter how that may happen.
Moms know more with each subsequent baby and birth, which can be a good thing, and also a scary thing. I’m starting to think that perhaps ignorance is bliss for certain parts of the baby’s exit strategy. I ended up with a caesarean after a very long labour with my daughter. For this baby, I’ve chosen a scheduled caesarean. You would think that I would have some level of comfort in knowing at least some of the details of the birth-day. Well, yes and no. I know many people who’ve had subsequent and scheduled caesareans, and they assure me it will be a much better experience, in terms of preparation and also recovery. This was comforting to me at the beginning of my pregnancy. And now that I’m in the third trimester, I’m having a hard time keeping the fear in check.
I had my first OB appointment last week, which made baby’s arrival seem so real, and so close. We spoke about my first birth experience, and the reason for my caesarean, and he mentioned that the notes in my file said “failure to progress”. Call it what you like, dude; I prefer “long labour that stalled / was slow AF / baby C was having no more of it”. In any event, having this conversation with him stirred up a lot of hidden feelings that I had forgotten about. Something about the word “failure” made me feel like, well, a failure. Let’s all agree to stop using this word, ok?!
I wanted to share an article that I found recently: 13 things you should never say to a mom who had a C-section. It puts into words many of the things I’ve been feeling lately, especially numbers 2, 3, 5, and 8.
If anyone has any tips for remaining calm, leading up to and on birth-day, please share!