Have you ever thrown a party?  A wedding?  A shower?  Have you ever experienced difficulty when it comes to getting people to R.S.V.P.?  R.S.V.P. is an abbreviation that stands for a French phrase, “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” which means “please reply.” The person sending the invitation would like you to tell them whether you accept or decline the invitation.  It is so important that you respond in a timely manner.

In my experience, I have noticed that people always seem to wait until the last possible minute to R.S.V.P.  It’s so frustrating.  Sometimes it’s an innocent oversight; the invitation comes home and gets put in a “special” spot and gets covered up with other “important things” and forgotten.  Sometimes it’s because people are busy and just have other things on their minds and forget.  Sometimes, it’s because people wait for as long as they can before they R.S.V.P., because they’re waiting to make sure that something better doesn’t come up.  Here’s the thing; if you want to take your sweet ass time replying to an invitation to one of my parties…sure, take your sweet ass time! I’m a big girl, so trust me when I tell you that it won’t hurt my feelings.  I have come to a point in my life where I am confident enough in my own skin to know that your inability to commit to a party is not my problem, it’s yours.  But, when I am throwing a birthday party for my eight-turning-nine year old daughter, please R.S.V.P.!!

I know that people are busy, life is crazy, schedules are hectic, and being a parent is hard, but it doesn’t take long to send an R.S.V.P.  With the convenience of modern technology, it literally takes us less than 30 seconds to send a reply.  My daughter is pure and innocent and sweet.  Her heart is bigger than anyone that I’ve ever met.  She is excited about her birthday party.  She has been talking about it and planning it for weeks.  She loves your daughter, and she desperately wants your daughter to share in her birthday joy.  Whether you are meaning to or not, when you don’t reply, you are sending a message to my daughter that she just isn’t that important.  Every single day that my daughter comes home from school, she asks me with a twinkle in her eye and so much excitement in her voice if any of her friends’ mommies have replied, and every single day I have to break her heart a little and tell her no.  Why???  Because you’re too busy to take 30 seconds out of your oh-so-very-important life to send a response?

I know you got the invitation, because your beautiful daughter (who is so very sweet and innocent) has talked to my daughter about it.  All you have to do is pick up your phone and send a response.  If your daughter can’t make it, a simple “Thanks for the invitation, but so-and-so won’t be able make it to the party” will suffice.  If you let me know soon enough in advance, then I still have time to make other arrangements, or perhaps even invite another friend who was not able to be put on the guest list the first time due to number restrictions.  If you aren’t sure about your plans give this a try; “Thanks for the invitation!  Our plans are still up in the air for that day, but I will let you know by such-and-such date if she can make it”.  If your daughter can make it, great!  What the hell is taking you so long to reply???

Please, take a minute and think about how you would feel if this was your daughter.  Remember that on the other side of that invitation is a little girl who still believes in magic and fairy tales, and there is a mother who is so busy, just like you, who is trying her best to make her amazing little girl’s birthday wishes come true.  Think about the message that you are sending to this beautiful, sweet little girl who just wants to know that her friends will be there for her on her birthday.  Think about the kind of example that you’re setting for your daughter; about how it’s okay to treat their friends like they are secondary, and that it’s okay to wait for the-next-best-thing to come along.  Please, take a minute and R.S.V.P.

xo Michelle


One thought on “R.S.V.P.

  1. Eloquently put as usual Michelle. Knowing and loving Kailynn as I do, I can only imagine how grief stricken she has been to have her Birthday invitations ignored. I am certain that this is not a case of deliberate hurt, but it is parents who just forget to reply. I sincerely hope that my little darlings 9th Birthday goes off without a hitch. I sincerely hope that the parents of the children invited respond asap and that Kailynn’s bright and beautiful smile is not tarnished by thoughtlessness.

    Liked by 1 person

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