One step forward, two steps back. This pretty much sums up life, doesn’t it? Fuck, it’s frustrating. You know the saying “the straw that breaks the camel’s back”? Today, I was the Camel, and life was the straw that broke the camel’s back….just call me Alice….as in Alice the camel….Alice the camel has four humps….
Alice has learned her lesson over and over and over again; that when you’re a Mom you have to expect the unexpected. Alice replays cliche, trivial sayings in her head like, “you have to role with the punches”, “you have to go with the flow”, “don’t cry over spilled milk”, and “try not to get your panties in a bunch”. Alice tries to have positive thoughts like “everything will work out in the end”, and “what’s meant to be will be”, and “tomorrow is a new day”. For the most part, it works. Alice soldiers on. Alice smiles. Alice gets shit accomplished. Alice is a good camel, she works like a boss, and she Moms like a beast. But sometimes, Alice wants to tell those positive little birdies who are trying to sing cheerfully in her head to shut the fuck up! Alice just needs a minute. Just one minute to feel sorry for herself. Because today was a hard day, and Alice needs to cry. She has been pulled at and poked at and puked on (which was the proverbial straw, by the way) and needed just too damn much….so right now, at this moment, she just needs to cry. A good, hard, ugly cry. Alice will ugly cry the shit out of this minute, and then she will put away her tears, and she will clean the puke out of her hair (that was just washed last night), and she will soldier on and continue to fight the good fucking fight.
The thing is, Alice is a camel, not a goddamn machine. Alice can only carry so much fucking straw before her back will break. Sometimes Alice doesn’t want to role with the punches or go with the flow. Sometimes Alice will cry over spilled milk (literally), and sometimes Alice will get her panties in a bunch (probably more than she should admit). But, Alice loves all four of her humps so much, and Alice is a good camel, and Alice knows that tomorrow is a new day, and that she will get there one step (some forward and some back) at a time.