F*** You Pinterest

Last year leading up to Christmas, my husband and I were working hard to pay off our debts, and with Jingle bells soon approaching, it was time to get creative and economic with our gift giving. Christmas is the most ridiculously expensive time of the year. What better way to be thoughtful and economic than with homemade fudge? What’s the best Christmas present that you can send to EVERYONE on your list that’s made by the kids with love?

Fantastic, delicious, ol’ reliable fudge!

I’m not known for my culinary expertise, so I found a “fudge recipe for dummies” on Pinterest and dove right in. The first batch was perfect! (Some people got that batch…lucky bastards…it was delicious!)

After I had successfully made my first batch, I was pretty darn proud of myself. I got a little overconfident, and probably overstepped my realm of capabilities…I thought “assorted fudge” flavours would really show effort, creativity and love without bombing the bank account.

Turns out that if you change the type of “chip-its” you use in the recipe, the entire formula goes to SHIT. I found this out two days before Christmas when I checked on those little perfectly proportioned pricks in the freezer. When you pull things out of the freezer they’re supposed to be rock solid f***’ing frozen, not Robin Williams “Flubber”. This phenomenal little concoction would not freeze! (Out of curiosity I actually threw it to see what would happen, and I was disappointed when it didn’t do anything spectacular and bounce off the walls).

Time had run out (I work retail, and our busiest time of the year is Christmas, so there was no last-minute fixing this). I was unwilling to spend more $$$$$. I had no more economic solutions. So what was I to do?? The only logical thing left to do, of course. So, I dutifully wrapped this potentially harmful substance in beautiful bags and sent to all of my most loved friends and family with a little note that read, “I’m sorry. It’s been frozen. It’s delicious, but I don’t trust it.”

I received thank you letters and texts a little while later. Many recipients were polite and didn’t mention the goop. Others blatantly asked me what the f*** was the brown sloppy stuff. Some asked if I had sent them some freshly wrapped diaper droppings. “Hey Jenna, not sure what was in that bag but I threw it out.” The unlucky buggers who happened to open their gifts while I was standing there actually tried it…after a couple of cocktails, of course!

Moral of the story? Don’t trust Pinterest. It comes down to a problem of Expectation vs. Reality. The people who are posting those fantastic crafts and creations must be professionals. I learned my lesson the hard and embarrassing way. No more Christmas baking for this Mama.

Next year I will do crafts…surely that will be easier.

…to be continued.

xo Guest Blogger Jenna

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One thought on “F*** You Pinterest

  1. Thanks Jenna for the wonderful explanation of why the Christmas Gift you gave to Paul & I was so very interesting. While I never considered that it might be diaper deposits, I did at one point consider that Jack’s litter box may be missing a few essential items. Just joking, the fudge was tolerable as long as the tasting was limited to one very small bite. But more importantly, your effort and creativity was certainly appreciated on this not so much fudge loving Mama. Respectfully, Your Mom xoxo

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