When my son was born and we first made eye contact my thoughts were not the typical ones of amazement, undying love and other mushy things. Nope, I had an overwhelming sense of panic followed by the immediate realization that there was a tiny human to take care of at whatever cost… Was I really doing this? Could I cut the mustard? I had to, and I’m exceeding even my own expectations! Despite my initial feelings I retain an incredibly enthusiastic level of love and devotion towards our tiny human. I had no idea that we would be the parents we are let alone enjoy it as much as we do.
Now, I don’t wish to imply that we are infallible. There have been mishaps and I’m sure lots of mistakes are in our future, plenty of face palms are in our midst but that’s the journey right? So why is it that my happy, healthy son whom we nourish emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually at every turn is not obvious proof that I am a good, if not fantastic Mother? Why do people feel it is necessary to publicly rebuke my husband and I, sometimes even explaining we are not loving and capable caregivers? Well, it’s because we keep meeting assho… ahem I mean fuddy duddies and old farts!
It started before my son was even born. Some of the Grandparents made it clear they hoped for a girl to save our son the dismal fate of being named Fox! They got over it, but now we deal with the general public’s ostentatious opinions – which I never ever ask for. After the usual comments and coo’s it happens: “What’s his name?” We say: “Fox.” Then it begins… “Why would you do that to him?” “Well he can always change it later!” “What’s wrong with you?” “Wow, you must really like The X-files eh?” We have even been told that Fox will be relentlessly made fun of in school and that it will be our fault. So yes, he will be made fun of possibly even bullied but not necessarily because of his name. Kids are rascals and they will find something, anything to make fun of. Also, umm, Heeelloooo he is going to blame us for everything anyway, just like we blame our parents, them’s the breaks!
At the end of the day… every day… He is our son not yours, and guess what? He is happy, healthy, and loved. That alone makes us phenomenal parents. Being a Mom or a Dad is a tough gig! So to all the Fuddy-duddies and old farts out there who happen to meet a tiny human with a name they don’t like… too bad! Their name might be foreign to you, traditional to some, unique, maybe even old fashioned, hell you might meet another Moon Unit but who cares. When you meet a happy, healthy, and loved child stop being a dink and remember a lesson your parents taught you (or at least should have)… If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all and remember “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
Xo Guest blogger Ali