It happened again last week. Someone asked what my kids were and I said I had two girls. “Are you going to try for a boy?”
I consider myself a feminist. I’m all for gender equality. I don’t think females are superior to males, or males superior to females. I believe we are equal and should be treated as so. I know here, in Canada, we have come a long way when it comes to gender equality and basic human rights compared to many countries around the world, where females are given little to no value at birth.
I had a long conversation about gender equality with my grandmother before she passed. She was a new mom when her first son died in infancy while she was pregnant with her second child, who was also a boy. Her third child was female, my mother. This is in 1953. My grandfather had come from a family of all males, including a set of twins. His father had come from a family of all males. Apparently when my grandfather was told the gender of my mother by the doctor (1953, the men did not go in the birthing room) he said “no, it’s not mine.” They honestly believed his bloodline only produced males.
I work with a lot of men. They’re physically much stronger, they think they’re smarter, they are far less dramatic, they are brought up thinking they are superior beings sent to this planet to protect us frail, silly women. I have a thick skin so it doesn’t bother me, it drives me to work harder to prove that I’m equal, that my work is no less inferior because of my gender. If you’re going to judge me, judge me for my brain. Not what’s between my legs. Right?
But I draw the line when someone suggests my children are lesser beings because they are female. My husband loves our children and would do anything for them. Our oldest is his special girl, they do everything together. He takes her on trips, he sings her songs every night at bedtime (thank you FaceTime), they go on movie dates, they go on bike rides, skiing, hikes, lunch dates, you name it – they literally spend every moment they can together. As our baby gets older I know they will also have a special bond and do things together that are unique to the two of them. He was a tad upset when he found out #2 was a girl, and to be fair I don’t know how I would feel if I had only boys. Would I want a girl? Would I be emotional that I don’t have a girl to braid her hair? Or paint her nails and do girly things?
But it still makes me mad that people think just because we have girls we should be trying for the almighty boy. I don’t want my girls to ever feel like they aren’t as worthy because they don’t have a penis. When someone asks “are you going to try for a boy?” I tell them “Nope. My husband was happy with the two girls so he got neutered.” End of story.
xo Guest Blogger Sarah